It has been said that the real test of holiness is if you can live it at home where people really know you. I agree.

I have met people whom I thought were real saints of God, only to discover that they were a devil-on-wheels at home.

Each year many books are written on the subject of the home, so obviously we cannot hope to cover all we need to cover on this subject in this one chapter, but let's have a try at it.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:22-24

After a sermon where this is preached, the husbands usually leave church, flex their muscles, give some kind of a guttural sound and say something like, "Well, did you hear the preacher? I'm the boss, so do what I say."

One man said to his wife, "I'm the boss, and you are nothing, and don't you ever forget it."

She glared at him and replied, "Well, Bigshot, how does it feel to be boss over nothing?"

Actually, it is a pleasant thing for a wife to submit to and obey a husband who lives up to his responsibilities.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25

How did and does Christ love the church?

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15

When a husband is kind, patient, considerate of his wife's feelings, tender and gentle with her in what he considers her weak points, that husband is easy to reverence (Ephesians 5:33) and obey.

After thirty-two years of married life together, my wife and I have a deeper love and higher respect for each other than when we began. It hasn't been easy. There have been many misunderstandings and hurts. My heart goes out to those who think divorce is the answer. It's not God's answer.

Almost all divorce takes place because one or both of the married partners are too selfish and immature to admit he or she is wrong. Many times I have apologized to my wife, even to my children. Too many men view an apology as a sign of weakness, when the opposite is true.

The commands are, wives, obey your husband; husbands love your wives. One man asked me if he would live with his wife in heaven. When I replied that I really didn't know, he informed me that if he had to live with his wife in heaven, he didn't want to go there.

Husband, love your wife, be sweet to her, say kindly, gentlemanly words to her.

Spend as much money on her as you do on yourself. So many men want to spend $300.00 to buy themselves a gun, and then send their wife out to the used clothing shop to buy a $1.50 dress. It doesn't take the wife long to figure out that she's not really very important to him after all.

Wife, love and obey your husband, keep your home clean, fix good meals for your family. Dress well and look attractive.

I wonder how many marriages would still be unbroken if the aged women had obeyed the above instructions instead of telling the young wife that she didn't have to put up with her husband's behavior and that she had best leave him.

Ladies, I would suggest that you read and study Proverbs 31:10-31. It was a great joy for me to teach this chapter for two sessions to a wonderful group of preachers' wives a few months ago in Kenya, East Africa. Swahili is the language of much of East Africa. The Swahili translation for virtous woman is good wife. For months I have received letters telling of great victories as husbands and wives learned to labor for the Lord together and gratefully telling how their love was renewed.

Personally, I have always felt that if I were not right with my wife, I was not right with God. I go back to the opening statement of this chapter where I said that the real test of holiness is if you can live it at home where people really know you.

I remember with amusement when my youngest daughter, who was then seventeen and living at home, ratted on my wife and me to the Friday evening prayer meeting crowd. My wife and I had been having one of our "cold wars". We hadn't really spoken to each other except for necessary conversation for approximately three days. When I wanted something passed at the supper table and it was closer to my wife, I would point at the item desired and grunt. No doubt about it, I was really being immature.

On the Friday evening in question, my wife, daughter, and I walked into the church to begin the Friday evening prayer meeting. Someone had forgotten to turn on the furnaces. As I reached for the thermostat, someone remarked that it was really cold in the church. My daughter replied, "It's been cold around our house for three days now."

So many couples feel that if they are not screaming and hollering at each other, they are living together in unity. Many times, their unity is nothing less than a cold war.

There is a beautiful passage of scripture in the New Testament, that if it were applied to a husband-wife relationship, most of the marriage problems would be totally eliminated.

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:5-11

In this passage of scripture we can see the beautiful relationship which exists between two members of the Godhead. Someone needed to go down to earth, take upon Himself the form of a human, live a sinless life, and be brutally murdered. The one whom we now know as Jesus Christ, the Son of God, evidently volunteered to go upon this mission. The Bible tells us He humbled Himself, He became of no reputation. The One whom we now know as God the Father could have gloated over Him, and said, "Now I have you where I want you," but instead of taking advantage of the One who had humbled Himself, the Father highly exalted Him, and gave Him a name which is above every name. Thus we have that famous scripture that tells us that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow. What teamwork! The Son says, "I'll go."

The Father says, "I will exalt you above every name." And again I say, what teamwork!

Today, we know that when demons are cast out, and sick bodies are healed, these miraculous works are done, not in the name of the Father, but in the name of Jesus, the Son.

When a husband and wife take upon themselves this kind of relationship, and the wife humbles herself before her husband, willing to take upon herself the form of a servant, then I believe it is incumbent upon the husband to honor and exalt that wife.

Again I say, I believe most marriage problems would be totally eliminated if a husband and wife would labor toward this type of relationship.

Yes, this is an important element of holiness.